Claims I've heard

"I was eating a Candy bar and about halfway through I noticed it was full of worms, can I get a lawyer"

"I created a myspace music page and now the record industry has me under surveillance and, I don't know if you know this, but there is technology these days that allows them to beam voices into my head and they are trying to tell me what to do"

"I was abducted from a theater and held captive by 4 military men in their officers quarters. The woman they were with told me that if I told any one they would slit my throat and throw me in a Cotton field. They raped me and beat me and denied me food. I haven't ever told anyone about this and I'm afraid to go to the authorities. One man was from Iraq, one was from Cyprus and one was from Iran. I know there is no way they can be prosecuted. I slept with my mother until I was 18 and I am afraid to do anything on my own. This is all coming out from repressed memory right now."

"There are SNAKES in my apartment. I can't go in there, I haven't been in there since THursday and I can't get my work clothes. I need to sue the land lord!"

"My lawyer told me to sue him, what do I do?"

More to come...